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Stop Chasing Your Goals! Here's Why...

Today, I want to share a secret I've learned about goals. Perhaps you're familiar with this concept, but I want to share it because it's been a powerful tool for me personally. When I figured it out, I revamped my goal ecology. And I’ve stuck with it because it works.

Let me start with this quote by Albert Einstein, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is physics.”

Before I was a coach, I became intrigued by quantum theory. In fact, the ideas and concepts I’ve learned are part of why I became a coach. They hold deep resonance for me. The quote I shared by Einstein captivates me.

So when I went through my professional coaching certification process, part of my training focused on knowing how to help my clients develop effective goal ecology. Having been a sales trainer and coach for several years, what I was being told was mostly a review of what I learned in business.

In the middle of it, my questioner and rebel side suddenly came out full throttle. I started grappling with the traditional goal-setting process I’d been using for years.


It didn’t line up with the science behind quantum physics. The goal process I’d known wasn’t in harmony with Einstein’s quote.

Here it is again...“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is physics.”

You see, goals are energy. And that’s not how traditional goal ecology defines it. You think about what you want, set S.M.A.R.T. Goals, break them down into a process, and after you work hard enough and long enough, some day you reach your goal.

Think about the visual behind the phrase “reaching your goal.” It’s an external, detached process. Let me deconstruct that a bit more. Goals aren't something outside of us that we have to reach for, go after, or pursue. They aren't "out there in our future.”

A goal is something that resides within us. It's an energy. And creating that energy feeds our happiness. When we learn to manifest and sustain this energy, we're creating our Self-Success.

Let me give you an example to help explain what I’m talking about.

During one of my complimentary calls, I asked a young business man what goals he’d like help achieving. He quickly responded, "I want to be financially independent. In 10 years I want to save at least $1 million dollars and prepare for early retirement."

“Sounds like a pretty awesome and ambitious goal,” I responded...then I asked, “When you see yourself as a financially secure person, what are the feelings, thoughts, and emotions you find most beneficial or desirable?”

“Huh?” He replied.

“Well, traditionally, it’s a powerful goal, and most coaches would love to break that process down for you and help you achieve you make that dream come true. BUT...I’m thinking it’s a bit ambiguous. You see, there's an energetic goal behind this goal, and that energy is profoundly asking to be alive in you. So I want to ask you to go deeper. I want you to clarify what thoughts, feelings, and emotions are behind your desire for financial independence.”

I continued, “financial independence or security is an external goal. It’s an accomplishment. When you visualize yourself ten years from now, what feelings are most alive in you?”

“Freedom! Satisfaction...Accomplishment.....Confidence.......Happiness!” he replied.

“Great! THAT’S the goal I want to help you achieve.” I shared. “I’m curious. Now that you see your goals are energy, not objects...are you willing to sacrifice your freedom, satisfaction, and happiness for the next ten years so you can hopefully feel these things then? OR would you like to start achieving these goals before the end of the day?”

“It’s not that wanting to retire in 10 years is wrong. But to accomplish that through traditional goal-setting, you might find the thing you’re trying to accomplish externally creates the very opposite of what wants to be alive in you internally. As a Self-Success coach, I want to make sure you’re internal desires stay in alignment with the choices you make that creates your external reality.”

He responded, “Wow! I hadn’t thought about it that way. It just seems that in our society, becoming rich is the only way to be happy...I’d love to feel happy and satisfied every day. I mean I’m smiling just thinking about it.”

“Great!” I said...”Most likely the “energies” you’ve identified are values important to your sense of happiness and fulfillment. So, choose one or more of these energies that are asking to be alive in you. Then, think of one simple, but meaningful choice you can make in the next 24 hours that will match that energy. Email me tomorrow and let me know what you chose and how you felt after you accomplished it.”

I concluded, ”When we start coaching together, we’ll make sure you understand each of your core values, then ensure the goals you set are in alignment with those values. They might be the same as what you told me today...OR they might be something even better.”

Would you like to try this for yourself? Here’s how:

  1. Think of a goal you’ve been wanting to accomplish that’s future-external.

  2. Visualize what it will feel like when you achieve it.

  3. Name the energy behind the goal that most wants to be alive...ask yourself a few times until you can drill it down to a couple core desires.

  4. Think of one or two simple, but meaningful choices you can make today that will match that energetic frequency.

Now, this is your real goal...this is what you most desire. It's what needs to be alive in you.

Getting to live these thoughts, feelings, and emotions as a consistent, daily reality is the goal. In reality, you can achieve your true goals today by simply making choices that are in alignment to your emotion-values.

And if the future external goal is something you still want, at least you’ll make sure you’re not compromising your values, integrity, health, or relationships on the road to Self-Success.

When we work together on defining and achieving Self-Success, you'll be learning how to tap into the energies necessary to create your goals, while also learning how to let go, move past, and go beyond the negative choices that keep you stuck and living in your undesired reality.

Chances are, the path to your authentic happiness and fulfillment in life are much more simple than the external kinds of goals society has pressured you to believe you must achieve.

Remember...everything is energy, even your goals! Try out this strategy and then leave a comment letting me know what you chose and if it hit your energetic sweet spot.

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