We admire people who overcome the odds and find their success. Underdogs are often our favorite heroes. Even when faced with the impossible, they never seem to give up. Perhaps we identify aspects within these ordinary heroes that connect us to our own struggles and desires to succeed.
Yet, most of us realize that we give up way too quickly on our own road to success. It’s not something we’re proud of, and it’s obvious we could probably accomplish our most challenging goals with a little more determination.
Unfortunately, most people fail to understand WHY they give up quickly, so they keep repeating the same patterns over and over until they end up telling themselves they were never meant for success.
That’s why self-awareness is so critical. When you’re able to look at yourself objectively, see the negative patterns, and then identify the reasons behind them, you can correct your coarse. It takes some perseverance and determination, but luckily those are skills that can be cultivated.
If you’re serious about creating Self-Success, then take time to clarify why you give up before you succeed.
Consider these reasons:
1. You care too much about the opinions of others. People are always going to have an opinion. But those opinions are most often originating from a place of lack and insecurity. And instead of doing their own self-work, it’s easier to project it out toward others.
Although we are taught at an early age to not make waves and that it’s good to fit in, this can seriously hamper our success if we don’t outgrow and minimize it.
The truth is, very few people actually care one way or the other...so do your thing and don’t worry about what others might think. If your choices honor your values, then you can hold confidence in yourself and speak truth to those who offer unsolicited advice.
2. You don’t know how to define failure properly. Mistakes and mishaps are part of the process of succeeding. All too often, it’s used as an excuse to give up. When something doesn’t work or go the way we want, we’re quick to label ourselves as failures. But you’ll rarely figure out the best way to do something on your first effort.
So, it’s actually not “failure”...it’s just an undesired result. It says nothing about you.
Think if it as an experiment and approach it like a scientist: Make an observation. Ask a question. Form a hypothesis. Make a prediction. Test it. Iterate. Keep doing it until you get the results you want. THAT’S DETERMINATION!
And remember, the only true definition of failure is choosing not to try in the first place.
3. You don’t care enough. Sometimes we bite off more than our motivation can conquer. The solution is to choose wisely. Avoid taking on goals and projects that aren’t exciting to you. Your time is precious. Get crystal clear about your values, because when you honor your values, you feel happy and excited. Make sure your goals and projects support your values. They give what you do depth, purpose, and meaning.
4. You’re too outcome-oriented. The true pleasure of a goal isn’t the destination, but the journey you go on to achieve it. It’s the growth and lessons that develop you spiritually. It’s important that you enjoy the process as much as possible. Do what you love and celebrate the joy you get as you go through the process. It makes little sense to suffer and hate what you do just for the bet it will somehow be worth it when you get there. Find a goal that you can enjoy working on.
5. You lack self-confidence. When you start something with an expectation that you’ll fail, you might as well not even start. Because with that belief, 10 times out of 10 you’ll end up giving up. Building self-confidence allows you to build your successful because you’ll be okay with yourself if it doesn’t work out the first few times. With low self-confidence, you’ll give up quickly.
6. You lack self-esteem. Sometimes, you may not think you deserve to be successful. So, you find ways to sabotage your process, make excuses, and then quit. Believe that you deserve what you’re trying to achieve, and you’ll last longer in your pursuit of it.
7. You like your distractions too much. Eating salad isn’t as much fun as eating French fries. Practicing piano isn’t as much fun as binge-watching Netflix. Distractions can be progress killers. Set aside time to indulge in your distractions after your work is done. Finish the tough stuff first, then practice self-care and reward yourself for the great work you accomplished.
8. You lack responsibility. It’s easy to blame others when setbacks happen. It’s necessary to own your life, your failures, and your successes. No one is coming on a white horse to rescue you or to do the work for you. The ball is in your court. You’re 100% responsible for your choices, so choose wisely.
9. You have bad habits. Bad habits are well-ingrained distractions. They steal your attention and rob your time. Negative habits can be harmful. Quitting when things get tough can become an unwanted habit. Think about your habits. Consider if there are habits that are at play subconsciously you might be unaware of. Then determine which make you more likely to give up.
So...why do you give up? Once you can answer that question accurately, you can create a plan to overcome it.
There are few obstacles that can withstand your consistent determination. Determination isn’t a gift you’re born with. It’s a gift you develop and strengthen. Just think about how different your life would be if you never gave up! You can still create that life. Make it so!